we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
