Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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