Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
