so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
