I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
