Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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