she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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