OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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