i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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