Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
