Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize