After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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