Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
