like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
