In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
