im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
