just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
