you guys were way drunker than both of me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
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He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
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See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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