Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
