9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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