I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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