Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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