The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
