apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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