After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize