i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
