she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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