there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
