I wish life had little blips of pornography
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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