The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
