i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
