One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
