I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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