i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I came so hard my ears popped.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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