whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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