Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
