Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
MIDGETS
????
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
