life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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