she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize