Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize