I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Randomize
