Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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