i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
