Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's blow job season.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
