More tranny stories later!
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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