I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Are my feet made of real feet?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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