glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
