There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.