Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.

Fav 15 4292 883
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(773): View more from Illinois

Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.

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(209): View more from California

ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.

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(206): View more from Washington

I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death

Fav 14 3932 1745
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times

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(316): View more from Kansas

This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.

Fav 0 566 314
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