bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
A+ Viking dick
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