ADVERTISEMENT

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.

  Fav 16 1126 3705

  share tweet
  

• (307): View more from Wyoming

  If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...

  Fav 24 5828 1106

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever

  Fav 18 6407 882

  share tweet
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.

  Fav 12 2903 1499

  share tweet
  
• 

  The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (941): View more from Florida

  Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.

  Fav 21 5889 1460

  share tweet
  

• (714): View more from California

  I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.

  Fav 9 3029 943

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.

  Fav 11 1624 816

  share tweet
  

• (636): View more from Missouri

  PS: I just woke up from my shower

  Fav 6 1582 890

  share tweet
  

• (618): View more from Illinois

  I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.

  Fav 2 3874 864

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing

  Fav 9 1053 759

  share tweet
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.

  Fav 13 1457 691

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (541): View more from Oregon

  So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?

  Fav 3 810 820

  share tweet
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'

  Fav 3 1147 588

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.

  Fav 0 420 211

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.

  Fav 0 18 34

  share tweet
  

Randomize