i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I didn't notice because vodka
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
