She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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