Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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