Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
