so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Two words: nipple clamps
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