uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
