Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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