I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
