I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
