not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
