what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
